Pump it up!

I’m halfway through week four since my surgery. The incision located at the top front of my scrotum is completely healed. It looks kinda gnarly and is proving to make shaving my balls extra challenging, but it’s healed nonetheless. Yeah, I shave my balls, primarily cause my wife first shaved them years ago and I’ve been doing it about every other day since. So I’m a little over the top. Then again, most of us who choose to have a prosthesis stuffed inside our dicks probably fall in that category, wouldn’t you say?

I still have a fair amount of discomfort, mainly when I put underwear and pants on. However, it’s subsiding. Either that or I’m getting accustomed to it. I suspect it’s probably a combination of the two. And oh, I almost forget: about pumping it up for the first time.

I waited nearly the full three weeks before taking matters into hand. Truth is, I was a little chicken that it wouldn’t work, or that I wouldn’t be able to get the blasted thing to deflate. I had nearly pumped it up the day after my two-week check up, but I couldn’t seem to get my fingers on the release valve, not to my satisfaction anyway. Go figure: I have balls enough to undergo a penile implant, but not enough to activate it without being reasonably certain I could undo it.

A few days past. I was alone in bed with plenty of private time to thoroughly feel around to check things out. It turns out the pump was not oriented quite the way the doc had indicated. The pump was not sitting upright in my scrotum so consequently the release valve was not located at the top of my scrotum where I had expected to find it. Rather, the pump was twisted a bit and tilted backward so that the release valve was located more toward the back of my scrotum. I figured this out simply by feeling around until I found the two flat surfaces of the valve.

The bulb of the pump was a cinch to find as it is up front and center just below the base of my penis. So I took hold of it and squeezed. I was surprised that it did not seem to compress much at all. But when I released it, I could feel/hear fluid rushing into it. I squeezed again, then again and sure enough, my penis began to stiffen. It would have been cool, really cool if it had begun to get longer and longer (every man’s dream), but I knew that would not be the case. It did get somewhat longer, but mostly it just became erect.

I pumped until I could no longer feel fluid refill the bulb when I released it. Suddenly there I was laying on my back with my penis standing straight up toward the ceiling. Ya gotta love hydraulics! I was happy, no, relieved is a better word. I was relieved that my penis, though not as long as it had once been, was standing at attention with a degree of rigidity I knew would be sufficient to have intercourse. Apart from that nagging size issue that we’ll address in more detail later, seeing the proof that I could achieve and maintain an erection with regularity gave me a feeling of satisfaction, and, if you will, male empowerment that I had not experienced in many years.

The instructions on the card attached to my sample pump suggest that one squeeze of the release valve, with thumb and forefinger positioned on either side, is enough to allow fluid to drain out of the penis and back into the reservoir located in my abdomen. I’m wondering if one needs to be in a reclining position for this to happen (if standing, the fluid would need to defy gravity and run uphill). We’ll test that out later.

The instructions also state that for faster deflation, one can gently squeeze the penis with the other hand to force the fluid back into the reservoir. That’s the route I took. I was surprised that there was very little give to the valve when I squeezed, but nevertheless it worked and my penis returned to its semi flaccid state. After that I pumped it up again and released it again. By then the little guy was aching pretty good, so I decided it was time to give him a rest. I remember thinking as I drifted off to sleep that had my wife and I attempted sex, the ache would have been enough to make it a less than pleasurable experience. Fortunately, I knew that would not always be the case.

To pump or not to pump

During my first two weeks after surgery I was careful not to play with “things” down there. Oh sure, I gingerly felt around in my scrotum now and then—sure enough, it felt as if I now had three testicles in there. That was kind of a weird feeling at first. Other than gently washing with soap and water in the shower beginning a few days after surgery, that was about it. I didn’t want to compromise my incision in any way, and I also had read a few accounts from men who had created problems by pumping themselves up too soon.

I expected that my 2-week post-op with my doctor would include a trial run to ensure the device was working properly. On one hand I was looking forward to it, and yet on the other hand I wasn’t. I had read that the first few times are painful. During my visit, Dr. Kramer put the gloves on, felt around and pushed and pulled here and there. But then he commented that he wasn’t going to pump me up because it would hurt and there was no point in that. He did give the pump one squeeze, enough to verify that it was working.

Afterward he gave me a model of the pump that he had implanted inside my scrotum. It is larger than I expected. I’ve posted a photo of the model alongside a tape measure to give you an idea of its size. The ring you see at the top is not part of the pump as implanted. It holds a laminated card on which are printed directions on how to use the pump. You firmly squeeze the bulb a number of times to inflate the penis. When you wish to deflate the penis, you squeeze together the two flat areas on the T that is located above the bulb. Some pumps I am told require you to continue to squeeze until the penis deflates. On mine, one squeeze is sufficient.

Obviously I’ll be able to post more about this process once I actually do the deed. The doc advised to give it another week before doing it, and another three weeks or so before attempting sexual activity. He said the average is about 5 weeks after surgery. Trying to have sex before that, he advised, often results in more discomfort than it’s worth. Well, I guess that’s a matter of opinion, huh. LOL.

2 weeks out

On Thursday I had a 2-week follow-up with Dr. Kramer. The good news is all seems to be mending well with my penile implant. One of the primary concerns with implanting a penile prosthesis is the onset of infection. Obviously precautions are taken to prevent this during surgery, and the device itself of course is kept sterile until the time of implant. Even so, infection still sets in about 3% of the time. It’s reportedly more likely to occur in diabetics, which happily, I am not. The fix for this unfortunately is complete removal of the device, because apparently a biofilm can form around it that can harbor and protect bacteria, making antibiotic treatments ineffective.

During my overnight stay in the hospital after having my penile prosthesis implanted, I received an antibiotic intravenously and then was prescribed a week’s worth of an antibiotic to be taken orally. This is pretty much standard preventative procedure. I was happy to hear that Dr. Kramer detected no signs of infection during his examination. He advised me that normally we would know by now if there was going to be a problem, so hopefully that’s the end of infection concerns.

My incision is pretty much healed, swelling has gone down considerably and bruising is now entirely gone. I do have a bit of a hematoma in the scrotum, but that will dissipate with time. That said however, I still experience a fair amount of discomfort. The thing is, even in the flaccid state, a penis with a prosthesis will feel stiffer than it did before the implant. The days of the little guy playing Mr. Turtle are definitely over. And there won't be much shrinkage in cold water. LOL.

At any rate, this results in feeling sorta like having a constant erection. As any guy knows, after a while, a penis that is erect for an extended period of time begins to ache. This is similar to what I feel. And because my penis is now stiffer than before, I need to wear underwear to keep the head of my penis from rubbing against the inside of my trousers, which is extremely irritating. Men who have not been circumcised probably would not encounter this situation. Yet when I wear jockey style underwear, it feels akin to rolling over on your stomach when you have an erection. Ouch.

My solution while around the house is to wear loose fitting lounging pants with no underwear. I’ve also been sleeping that way. It’s not horrible, but because there is no real relief from this discomfort, it does tend to wear on you after a while. From what I know based on experience from other men, this discomfort will be with me for a while but will gradually fade over the coming months. In fact, the University of Maryland Medical Center recently posted a testimonial video on their Urology page, in which a penile implant patient mentions a similar experience during recovery. Here's a link to that video:

Penile Implant Testimonial

The long and short of it is the discomfort doesn’t come as a total surprise. I figure I will deal with it and move on. I’m sure men who get a penile implant have somewhat varying experiences regarding recovery and in eventual use, but according to WebMD, upwards of 90% of them are glad they had it done. That makes me feel pretty good despite the discomfort.

Penile Implant: one week after surgery

It’s the morning of the ninth day since I had the prosthesis installed in my penis. As you can see in this photo taken one week after surgery, I experienced some bruising in my lower abdomen (now turning yellow), but no big deal. The circular area on my right (left on the photo) I assume is where Dr. Kramer placed the liquid reservoir. What the photo doesn't depict too well is the general swelling in the area.

I was told that I might want to wear jockey-style undershorts for support. One problem here. They do provide support for the testicles (remember there’s a pump now in there with them) and they do generally keep everything from flopping around (read: painful). My penis, however, is stiffer than before, which I expected. So consequently it sticks out straighter. I’m thinking the days of playing turtle are long gone—which is fine with me. But this means the undershorts tend to bend my appendage back toward me or to either side. That’s extremely uncomfortable, but at least it keeps the tip of my penis from rubbing against the inside of my trousers.

Consequently, I’ve been wearing lounging pants around the house and going commando. I wear underwear only when going out, and usually by the time we get back home, I can’t wait to get them off.


My incision is on the underside of the penis, not on the lower abdomen just above the base of the penis where I thought it would be. Apparently Dr. Kramer opted for the more traditional means of installing the prosthesis instead of the newer infrapubic procedure. Possibly this is because I have a mesh screen in my lower abdomen for the repair of an inguinal hernia. I'll ask when I see him next Thursday for my follow-up visit. Nonetheless, my incision seems to be healing well as evidenced in this photo also taken one week after surgery.

One concern I have is a loss of feeling on the surface of my skin that extends above and below the incision, so that the underside of my penis feels numb and so does the front center portion of my scrotum. I have no other loss of feeling anywhere else though. In fact the top and sides of my penis seem a bit more sensitive to touch than before.

I’m not in what I would call a lot of main. Discomfort is a better word, with the inability to get comfortable either sitting or laying down. Sitting upright is actually the most uncomfortable unless I sit on a soft seat such as our couch or even the front bucket seat of my wife’s Solara convertible. Having watched many of the Apollo 11 fortieth anniversary television shows this week, it puts me in mind of describing the feeling in my groin this way. Instead of feeling lighter due to one-sixth gravity, my junk feels as if it suddenly weighs six times what it did.
As I think about it though, my junk certainly does weigh more because it’s now carrying the added weight of the implant chambers, the pump, the hydraulic lines to and from, plus a certain amount of saline solution.

Penile Implant: a few days after surgery

Ever wonder how your penis would feel if someone slammed it in a door? Um, I never caught the little guy in a door (in the zipper of my trousers once or twice) but I can imagine it would feel akin to what I’ve been feeling since my surgery a week ago today. All went well, or so I’m told. I can’t say for sure that it did because I fell asleep and missed the whole damned procedure. The surgeon said it did and since when I awoke all the critical pieces were still were they were when I went to sleep, I figure that for now, I’ll take his word for it.

My wife and I went out for a few hours this evening to our favorite restaurant and water hole. After sitting for an hour or so, I said I needed to take a short walk outside just to get off my butt. As I walked back an forth in front of the door for a few minutes, this scenario played out in my head: a younger patron approaches, and seeing me walking in a slightly hunched over position, says to me, “Are you okay, Pops?”

Undaunted, I respond, “Oh hell yeah, sonny, I’m fine. But my dick is absolutely killing me.” There’s no doubt he’d probably go inside and complain to the manager about the dirty old man lurking outside his restaurant.

So therein lies part of my challenge since last week: what to tell certain people—like Mom, my coworkers and various friends and acquaintances—to explain why I’m pretty much out of normal commission for the time being. All of the nurses who attended me of course knew the reason I was there. In younger years I would have been self-conscious, embarrassed to even speculate at what they might be thinking about me. Times… and we along with it… change, do we not?

About to Receive My Penile Implant: A promising road ahead

Tomorrow morning I report at 6 am to Same-day Surgery at the University of Maryland Medical Center. I am Doctor Andrew Kramer’s first patient, scheduled to have a 3-piece penile prosthesis installed in my penis at 7:15 am. I have a friend who said if faced with having this surgery or no intercourse for the rest of his life, he'd choose the latter. I'm a little anxious about this, but I'm going into it with a pretty reasonable understanding of what's involved. And it's not as if I haven't thought about this long and hard over the course of many years. So overall I feel it's the right decision for me at this stage of my life.

When I first met with Kramer, I mentioned having seen a video available for viewing here on the web. It shows one surgeon installing a 3-piece implant in just over 12 minutes. Kramer smiled at that and said it actually takes closer to 40 minutes if you count opening and closing.

Even at 40 minutes, that sounds pretty darn remarkable to me. What sane man wants a speed demon surgeon working on his penis and scrotum anyway? It still means that by 8:00 or so, I’ll be a changed man. And my wife and I will be on a new road, headed into a new chapter of our life together. Sure there are certain risks involved, a few negatives and limitations as well. But according to information on WebMD, 80 to 90% of men who have undergone an implant are pleased with the results. That's a pretty remarkable record if you ask me.

Plus, when it come down to it one can never clearly see or be 100% sure of what’s in store around that next bend in the road. Personally, I see bright light shining around that bend, which to me suggests happy, satisfying new times in the relationship between my wife and me. I won't even factor in the significant boost to my male self-esteem (you guys with ED know what I’m talking about).

8 steps to happiness

You wanna take care of business with your honey? Just follow these simple steps:

1. Get your partner hot a bothered.
2. Take a break long enough for you to swab one side of your penis with alcohol.
3. Load a syringe with a drug known as alprostadil, then pick an injection site opposite side of your penis from the last time, about midway down the shaft.
4. Ease that needle into the corpora cavernosa, being careful not to hit your urethra or any visible blood vessels.
5. Squeeze the base of your penis for 15 seconds or so after you complete the injection to help keep the drug localized.
6. Now wait 5 to 15 minutes and watch in awe as the little guy transforms into a BIONIC PENIS.
7. Now get busy and impress the hell out of your honey with your genital prowess!
8. Oops, did you make like a jack rabbit cum too quickly? Not to worry. It takes more than an ejaculation to take down YOUR erection! You can stay with that rabbit theme, only now you can like the Energizer Bunny. You can go and go and go untilone of you is just too pooped to continue.

Once you decide to give it a rest, be forewarned. Don’t even think about rolling over and going to sleep. If you do, you can wake up hours later with the same erection you feel asleep. Not good. Priapism, as you know from all those ED commercials, can cause irreparable damage to your penis. Plus it gets damn painful. You need get up and keep moving until the little guy decides to deflate. So late night nookie when you’re using the needle isn’t such a hot idea. Morning sex or afternoon delights work a lot better.

I know many men who I know suffer from ED yet have told me that Steps 3 and 4 are deal-breakers for sure. No way are they gonna stick a needle into their manhood. Was I crazy about doing that? Hell no, but when push came to shove, it really wasn’t as bad as it sounds. Once you get past the notion of giving yourself an injection in your penis—and you actually do it, you discover that because the needle is so very thin, it really is virtually painless.
To my way of thinking, the choice between the needle or no sex was a no-brainer. Then, after several months of self-injections, that little blue diamond-shaped pill exploded onto into the marketplace. Happy days, no more needles!